easily distracted. want to be comforted. but being so far away from anyone, words cant do much, they are only just words. what's more, i dont want to add to your existing troubles. so i keep my thoughts to myself. thought i could sleep and forget about them, but it still doesn't feel ok.

in a sudden eureka moment last night, i realised actually the guys i've been with could have been the one to walk beside me forever. but then i gave up, on them on myself, on the love we shared and chose to walk alone. how many more times will this happen? in the face of my own doubts, in the face of an uncertain future ahead, the answer is really hard to guess.

yes, i know everything will be alright in the end. but when is 'the end' coming? and what does alright mean? the end of everything?

nevermind me. i'm fine.. haha